Good Riddance, 2008!

I pride myself on being an optimistic person. I'm usually an open book with people, unless I have nothing positive to report. Then I prefer to stay quiet rather than share what's going on with me, for fear of bringing the other person down. I'm making an exception to that with this blog post (and maybe just a couple more.) I feel as though I need to purge these thoughts so I can move forward. I want to leave them here so I can look back and remember. I don't want to forget what I've been through and where I've been. As painful as this past year has been, I want to be sure I learn from it so I can move forward a better person for having survived.

I've never been so excited for a year to be over. I was ready to ring in 2009 in September, at least. The entire year was marked by loss...for me, and others around me. I lost two jobs. My family lost my brother-in-law. I lost a boyfriend to the Marine Corps. Needless to say, I lost a lot of tears over the course of the year as well.

In a year of loss, you become keenly aware of the things that remain. I really couldn't have made it through the year if it had not been for my family and friends. My friends were so great to reach out to me when I didn't have it in me to reach out for them. My family has always amazed me. We've always been close, but the loss of my brother-in-law brought a level of intimacy I never knew was possible. My church family remained my shelter. And while I declared to my girl friends that I didn't want to meet anyone, a handsome man came into my life and could not be ignored. God knew so much better than I did. He became such a rock and a refuge for me during these hard times. He was such a bright spot in such a dark time. Even though he's gone on to rejoin the Marines, and regardless of what may or may not happen with us in the future, I will always be grateful for what his presence in my life meant during the past year.

Losses also make you so very thankful for even the smallest of victories. While life brought lots of loss and disappointment, I found victory and temporary escape in football. The wins on the gridiron are in no way comparable to the losses I experienced. It was just nice to be a winner in some way, albeit a mere game. Alabama and the Titans both had phenominal winning seasons that were fun to watch and cheer on each weekend. Then came Monday nights, when I had the pleasure of taking the field with Hollywood, my co-ed flag football. I can't even begin to express how cathartic the football season was for me. It was an absolute joy to hit the field with such a great, fun team of folks. We found a great rhythm and balance of playing hard, playing to win and just having fun. I was actually glad that most week we had a shortage of girls to play because I enjoyed playing both sides of the ball. I wanted as much play time as I could get because I certainly had plenty of tension and stress that needed to be burned off. Football provided that outlet. I couldn't be more thankful. And I don't think Hollywood could have had much more fun than we did.

Then I also had the chance to reconnect with an old friend and with nature - another way in which God showed that He knew exactly what I needed. I was able to spend a few fall weekends surrounded by beautiful mountainsides ablaze with color, nights by campfires, and days exploring God's handiwork. I put more miles on my hiking boots, sat under a waterfall, swam in a cave, rappelled and ascended 200 feet into a pit with new friends. It reawakened a side of me that's been asleep for a while and will hopefully now provide a new drive and direction for the future.

So 2009 is finally here. To say that I'm thankful would be an understatement. It's going to be a good year. I'm determined to do whatever I can to make it such. I can't imagine how it could be any worse than 2008. I don't even want to think about it for fear of jinxing it. So, good riddance, 2008. Welcome, 2009. I look forward to all the wonderful things you will bring.